There have been so many disasters in my life that I legitimately don’t think there is a book big enough to fit them in.

Like this one time when I was about like 7 or 8 years old, my dad and I went to this like really dodgy place and like he asked me to stay in the car cause like he didn’t want me to get shot or something, so I did cause like I didnt want to get killed, obvs. So after like 20 mins, I was getting like hot in the car and like my stomach started making those weird noises that tell you that you need to use the bathroom A$AP, Rocky.

But plot twist, there wasn’t a toilet in my dads car… So I did what I had to do, I did what any normal person my age would have done in my circumstance (I almost wrote circumcision), I took the bag in the front seat, spilled the contents out and situated myself for the ride of my life, in a squatting position, little did I know that the roller coaster ride, didn’t have a maintenance check before hand.

Halfway through my escapade I realised that nothing was entering the bag, like absolutely nothing okay? But that didn’t stop me, I finished my task and waited for my dearest father to find me, cause like what else was I supposed to do?


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